Adios Panales!

Haydee is out of diapers. Done. Gone. ¡Adios pañales! Yippee! I hesitate to say that she is ‘potty trained’ because in all honesty took very little training. No sugary treats, no promises of a new toy, no real tangible reward other than dry, big girl panties. Definitely many moments of happy singing and dancing, getting puffed up proud, and of course the occasional explanation that, yup, that’s okay, accidents happen.

Each child reaches milestones in her own time and fashion. With our first daughter, who strives to please and maintain order, we packed up her diapers one day shortly after she turned two and never looked back. Being the parent of two children complicates matters in that what worked for one may not work for the other. With Haydee, who’s fiercely independent and wildly messy, I imagined it might take longer to be diaper-free. I thought we’d offer now but if she didn’t take to the potty, we’d just try again later.

Much to my surprise, Haydee wanted to be out of diapers. She’d use the toilet and want us all to know. During the her first diaper-free day, she created her own ritual for positive reinforcement. She wanted Daddy to sing to her. If he wasn’t home, she’d call him with a request, “Daddy, me go pee, you sing ABC Daddy, right now!” Lucky for us all, Daddy was more than happy to oblige.

Staying dry overnight has taken more effort. Haydee sleeps nearly 12 hours at night - a long time to a two year old bladder. We saw three options: put her in a diaper overnight, change wet sheets all the time, or get her up at least once during the night to use the toilet. We tried them all. She wore a diaper overnight for a few nights but then reminded us (with a full blown tantrum) that she was in fact finished with diapers. Over the last two weeks we’ve tired of changing and washing sheets, so we’re intentionally creating a habit of, at least once each night, sitting her on the toilet while she’s sleeping. So far so good. This morning she woke us at 4 AM screaming that she needed to pee. By the time I stumbled out of bed, found my glasses, her bed was wet but at least she knew what she needed to do. That’s progress. It takes three to four weeks to create a habit. I’m confident if we spend the next few weeks sitting her on the toilet before we go to bed, she’ll soon learn to wake herself up to go.

Back in the 1950’s, 95% of American children were out of diapers by the time they turned three. Today, only about half of American children are toilet trained by age three. In the 50’s, nearly all babies were in cloth diapers. Babies in cloth are more aware of their bodily functions as the cloth allows them to feel the sensation of being wet. Not that cloth diapered babies are toddling around sopping wet - because they’re not. But they do feel the wet sensation long enough to connect the feeling to what their body just did. Because of this, around the time that they begin to assert their independence in dressing and feeding themselves, they are typically ready to toilet independently as well. By choosing cloth, parents and children are less likely to encounter the power struggles involved in truly toilet training a three-, four- or even five-year old. There are many reasons to cloth diaper, but for me, as a parent who has a lot on her plate, this is the most compelling reason - easier and earlier toileting means less time in diapers! Less time in diapers means more time for something else.

Know of anyone looking for some gently used cloth diapers? Have them give me a call as Haydee’s diapers are good to go.

cloth makes a comeback

Last week I was talking to an advertising representative at a downtown Bath networking event. He was there promoting a magazine focused on coastal living. My husband and I were there promoting our businesses. We made a connection in that he’d cloth diapered his children, years and years ago. He was saying that what was once old is now new again. Whenever I go to networking events, I tend to bring along my baby - not my daughters - but the cabbage patch doll that my grandmother stood in line for decades ago. It’s helpful to have a “model” when talking about or demonstrating how to use cloth diapers. The ad rep immediately noticed how much cloth diapers had changed in the last twenty years. He commented that what’s old is new again only better. He got it right: cloth diapering is indeed making a comeback. And here’s why:

Cloth diapering is easy. Baby boomers are surprised to learn two basic facts about modern cloth diapers. Number 1: no pins! Number 2: no toilet dunking! Generations X and Y are delighted by how easy cloth diapering is now. Baby Boomers can’t believe the someone hasn’t thought of it when they were diapering their children. Today’s diapers secure with snaps or Aplix and can be easily washed in a standard washing machine or with a diaper service. Aplix is a type of velcro and usually diapers using this will have laundry tabs to secure so that the velcro stays free of gunk and doesn’t catch on anything else.

More and more information is available, locally and online. The March/April issue of Mothering magazine carries the headline Cloth Diaper Comeback and can be found at the Good Tern. The Real Diaper Association, a national cloth diapering advocacy group, provides internet searchers with facts and directs interested folk to local resources. Four times a year, Mid Coast Hospital offers a free Diapering 101 class. In Maine, there are two diaper services and at least a dozen stores selling quality cloth diapers. Local cloth businesses are more than happy to give demonstrations - often at no cost to you.

Increased awareness of environmental benefits of cloth. More and more transfer stations are introducing pay-by-the-bag. The cost of petroleum products (such as disposable diapers) is rising. Modern cloth diapers can be used, reused and then used some more. Energy efficient washers make it possible to launder cloth diapers with less water and without harsh chemicals. By laundering cloth diapers, waste stays out of the landfill - or wherever your municipality ultimately puts of trash. Cloth diaper manufactures are aware of and open with the sources of the fabrics used in making cloth diapers. Read the ingredient label on the disposable diaper packages... oh, yeah, there isn’t one. Hmm...

Increased awareness of health benefits of cloth. In a time where we are bombarded with chemicals and additives, cloth diapers are a natural haven. Unlike their throwaway counterparts, cloth diapers are pollutant free and contain no dioxin or Tributyl-tin. Dioxin is a cancer-linked chemical while Tributyl-tin is linked to hormonal problems in humans and animals. Back in the 50’s, when nearly every baby was in cloth, most babies potty trained at 18 months old. In the 80’s, when half the babies were in cloth, only 50% of babies were potty trained at 18 months. Now, with over 90% of babies in disposable diapers, two-thirds are still in diapers after their third birthday. Delayed potty training has taken its toll on the environment as well on the child. First there’s the prolonged exposure to chemicals. Second there is the impact on self-esteem in being too old for diapers but still in them.

Availability and options. Cloth diapering parents refer to their collection of diapers as their stash. No two stashes are identical. Selecting diapers is no different than shopping for a car or deciding what you want to be when you grow up. Admittedly, it can be overwhelming and is sometimes sited as reason for inaction. You can try a variety and make up your own mind. You can ask friends and family what worked for them and make up your own mind. If one diaper seems to work better than another, you can switch. You’re not locked in. Anyone who’s looking to try cloth diapers, please give me a call, I’d be happy to show you my stash!

Dispose of those disposables!

a cloth diaper doubles a bib for Haydee while we were in Guatemala City for almost a month last year

Once we decided to use cloth diapers for our children, we began to consider what else we could switch from disposable to reusable. Once we tried, we discovered that just like cloth diapers, it took no more effort - in fact, frequently, it took less effort - to be green in more areas of our lives. Here’s what we’ve done.

baby products: We’ve had the same tub of disposable wipes for Haydee, our youngest daughter, for over a year and it’s about half-full. They are reserved for travel when we know we won’t be near a water supply. Normally we use flannel wipes in lieu of disposable ones. The reasons are just like the reasons for using cloth diapers: easier on baby, wallet and earth. For Liefe, we cut receiving blankets into rectangles. With the advent of Buzzie Bee Diapers and the homecoming of Haydee, we upgraded to two layers of flannel, sewn together. With cloth wipes and washable swim diapers and/or training pants, there is no reason to run to the store. Here again, cloth saves time and money.

cleaning products: The last time we bought paper towels was when we first moved to Maine, just about four years ago. We actually still have that role. It doesn’t feel right to throw it away. Instead of paper towels, we use rags from old cotton clothes, either stained or otherwise unsuitable to be hand-me-downs. We store them in a canister on the kitchen counter and launder as needed. We save money and reduce the amount of needless waste generated. Plus a clean cotton rag is does as much better job at picking up spills or cleaning up messy hands and faces than a scratchy paper towel.

composting: All vegetable food scraps (including egg shells and coffee grounds) go in a large yogurt container (with a lid) on our kitchen counter. When the container is full, one of us brings it out to the compost bin. We keep our compost bin right off the porch so we’re more likely to use it. Composting also cuts down on the amount of trash we produce. This cuts down on the number of trips we need to take to the dump. And, by composting, we wind up with great soil for our flower and vegetable gardens.

gift bags: When you receive a gift from the Temple family, chances are it’s either wrapped in children’s artwork or it’s in a reusable fabric gift bag. Our bags are likely to be made from scraps of old clothing or other household fabrics - like the remnants from curtains. While we do have some wrapping paper left over from the Day After Christmas sales back in 2000, it’s been so much easier to toss presents into a bag and tie with a beautiful ribbon. We always encourage recipient to reuse the bag.

leftover hats: I’m not sure what the technical or even common name for this. It looks like a shower cap, only its made to cover food. I find them from time to time at Family Dollar. We use them in place of plastic wrap. Then we wash them out with soap and water, hang them to dry and re-use again and again.

picnic basket: Eating outside is an adventure for small children. They love how it changes the routine. Liefe says that food always tastes better on a picnic. Rather than use disposable silverware and paper plates, we have a picnic basket with real silverware and washable, durable plastic dishes. We keep the basket loaded and ready to go.

shopping bags: Over the years, we’ve collected dozens of canvas bags. We use them when we go shopping, whether to the farmers market, the good tern, or even to the pharmacy. Many of our bags have been painted by our girls. It’s a fun, safe and easy project. Using and re-using canvas shopping bags reduces the overstock of plastic bags we previously had in several areas of the kitchen.

table linens: Growing up, my family always used cloth napkins and placemats. I share this practice with my family today. Cloth napkins double as baby blankets and boo-boo bear holders. Plus, it’s much more entertaining to do tricks with cloth napkin than it is with a paper one.

Have you done something else to reduce your consumption of single-use household items? If so, please let me know, I’d love to share more ideas...

Buzzing on the Air

Years ago, I majored in English and Theater. I quickly discovered that I liked being backstage infinitely more than being on stage.

For a friend’s thesis, I reluctantly accepted the role of an angel who descends from the ceiling to center stage while playing the flute. For my own thesis, I designed and built the costumes for an equally bizarre performance. From the safely and comfort of a seat in sixth row, I loved seeing my work on stage.

On some level, writing this column has become therapeutic — as it forces me to make the time to reflect on my parenting beliefs. It’s also brought about some name recognition. For example, when I paid by check at the a local hardware store last week, the clerk told me he had read my piece about carbon footprint and how he had shared it with a friend.

So far, the internal and external benefits of Me & The Bee have exceeded my expectations. What I enjoy most is that I do it from home, on my own time, with my own computer, when my children are asleep. I like words. I like being able to think about them before I use them. And I can write, re-write, and re-re-write as much as I like before I send off this column. The process suits me. Just as running a diaper service suits me. Much of the work I do for my business is behind the scenes. I do see my customers, only not that often. And I’ve been able to plan how I want the business to run. Almost two years into it, things are running smoothly and it feels comfortable.

I was pushed out of my comfort zone when I was invited to talk about my business on not one but two upcoming radio shows. The opportunity to promote my business should be welcomed with gratitude and open arms. Like my children, my business will grow in the right direction if given lots of positive attention. So, with that in mind, I took a deep breath and accepted both invitations. The more people who know about the business, the more they are likely to support it. I believe in what I do and why I do it so I imagine I could have an intelligent conversation about it with the hosts. Still, why am I this nervous? Because, unlike words on the computer screen, the spoken word cannot be backspaced or deleted until the right word comes along. Because it’s me who will be interviewed, not my business plan.

Enter two daughters, stage left. Hearing their delicate but knowing voices, I am reminded that for all the planning I do, they balance me by being unwittingly sincere. They say what they mean because they say what immediately comes to mind. I think I’ll follow their lead this time.

Jennifer Moore Temple is the owner of Buzzie Bee Diapers, a cloth diaper service and supply company in Rockland. She can be reached at 542-0505 or via the company Web site, http://www.BuzzieBee.com.

Why Go Cloth?

Parents are obligated to make millions of decisions. Some small - like which brand of mac&cheese to serve and how often - and some very large decisions - such as choosing a child care provider or school. Most parenting decisions impact more than our children on a particular day. Some decisions are made long before we ever hold our babies for the first time. Take, for example, the diaper decision. The way I see it there are three options, none being mutually exclusive: diaper-free, cloth or plastic.
The diaper decision is generally after considering the options and determining the easiest method. Cloth diapers are by far the easiest. They are easy on on our babies, our hearts, our wallets, and our planet.
Easy on our babies. Gone are the days of diapers pins and dunking diapers in the toilet. Cloth diapers have evolved to be as quick and convenient. With velcro or snaps, they are easy to put on... or at least as easy to put on as their plastic counterpart. Washing diapers at home takes the same amount of effort as doing your normal laundry. As cotton contains no chemicals and breathes better than plastic, rashes due to diapering with cloth are virtually nonexistent. Studies show that babies in reusable cloth diapers tend to potty train 6 to 12 months earlier and easier than babies in single-use, throwaway plastic ones. Age-appropriate potty training helps in establishing positive self-esteem and gives toddlers a huge sense of accomplishment and independence.
Easy on our hearts. Changing a newborn in cloth feels very good. Knowing the advantages of cloth instills a sense of pride. Knowing that cloth is gentler on baby and the planet, each diaper change becomes a positive experience for parents and baby. Later on, using cloth offsets some of the challenges of raising of a toddler. In three seconds flat, a toddler can destroy just about anything - from an heirloom quilt to all the information saved on her mother’s laptop. One day a toddler may love a certain food and for some unknown reason, after you’ve stocked up on it, she’ll refuse to eat it. Add diaper after diaper to the mix and the workload more than doubles. A toddler in cloth understands her bodily functions, connecting the feeling of a full bladder with the sensations of elimination, and will naturally begin to potty train.
Easy on our wallets. Using a simple diapering system of prefolds, covers, and washing at home, parents can diaper a baby from birth to potty training for under $400. Most likely the same diapers and covers could be used for a second child, cutting the cost per child in half to $200. Using a diaper service requires even less effort and costs $2350 for two years. Using plastic diapers for three years probably costs about $2300 (assumming $65/month, not including sales tax, disposal fees or the additional impulse buys when running to the store to get diapers). The Real Diaper Association calculates that Americans spend $7 billion annually on disposable diapers (cash register price only, disposal and production expenses are additional). They also estimate that by switching to cloth, Americans would save over $6 billion annually - enough to feed every American child who goes to bed hungry.
Easy on our planet. The diaper-free option, known as elimination communication or EC, has the least impact on our environment. EC will probably surface as its own column topic at a later point but for now, you can learn more about it at www.diaperfreebaby.org. Cloth keeps waste - both plastic and human - out of landfills (and roadsides, lakes, ponds, and any other place where you’re likely to come across a throwaway diaper). The energy and raw materials consumed to produce cloth diapers is minimal, and even less when the product’s reusability is factored in. No one knows how long it takes for plastic diapers to decompose. It’s estimated at 250-500 years. It’s common knowledge that old cloth diapers make the best cleaning rags. Seems to me that cloth diapering is a recycling fundamental- using something again and again until it simply returns to the earth from which it came.